Rediscovering Purpose: A Guide on Transformation Through My Story...

As I mentioned previously, I am a 27-year-old mother who is currently in the process of rediscovering herself. I am someone who sets both short-term and long-term goals and diligently works towards achieving them. This mindset was not always part of me, but I will begin when I was just 15 years old, a junior in high school.

It was then that I came across a book that left a lasting impression on me with the phrase:

"Dreams are goals with a Deadline."

It's remarkable how even the smallest things can significantly impact one's life, and that particular moment truly altered the course of my life at a young age. It provided me with a sense of purpose, prompting me to map out my future. Here are some of the goals I had during that period:

1. Do a mission trip to Asia or Africa

2. Study abroad for my university studies

3. Marry at the age of 25 with a man. I had also made a list of things I was looking for in the partner I wanted to spend my life with. (Please, the feminists out there, bear with me. I was barely fifteen!)

4. Finish a french course

So from that moment, I always had defined goals in mind and strived towards them. Although there were some changes during the journey, I never lost sight of what I wanted.

Here is what I ultimately pursued:

1. Went to the Philippines after graduating from high school for my mission trip for 8 months, where it was life-changing for me. I met the best people who, in my heart, became my family.

2. While I didn't opt for studying abroad, when I returned from the Philippines, I chose to study energy engineering to contribute to our family business (originally I thought I would become a doctor). After completing my degree in 4 1/2 years, I set my sights on an international internship, which eventually took me to Shanghai.

3. By the age of 24, I was married and had set a goal of starting a family with 3-4 children before reaching 30.

4. Upon joining our family business, I committed myself to working diligently to attain both personal and professional objectives. (I am averse to being labeled as a Nepo baby)

My life took a turn at this point. I had my first son, and my marriage faced challenges. However, things took a downward spiral post-baby. Motherhood has transformed me entirely, proving to be the best experience so far. Unfortunately, the person I got married to didn't seem as invested in our family as I was.

My father always told me there were 3 big decisions in your life:

1. What you decide to study and be your career.

2. Whom you decide to marry.

3. Choosing to dedicate your life to Jesus (we are believers)
   

So here's the deal - for the first, you'll find a solution even if it's not your first choice, but you'll find something you enjoy and survive. But number 2, you really need to choose well. Trust me, I thought I was making a smart choice, but boy, was I wrong! Life lessons, live on first hand!

And everything started to fall apart for me. At 27, everything I had planned didn't make any sense anymore. I lived in a shadow for almost 2 years, just living day by day without any purpose in my head.

In the meantime, I have to say the thing that kept me going was my son. He was the only thing that gave me purpose and happiness. It made sense to wake up in the morning, go to work, do a good job there, and try to be a good mother for him. And then I decided I can't keep going like this. I didn't even recognize myself.

Where did I lose myself? I don't know. But I had to keep going. I was wasting myself and said the things I had planned out didn't work out, but that doesn't mean everything is lost.

So, what worked for me:

1. I despised failing, yet I recognized its significance in the learning process. Embracing failure can actually empower you and contribute to your growth.

2. Believing that everything occurs for a purpose, I understand that I have the power to determine its impact on me. As the saying goes, "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it," and I wholeheartedly agree with this sentiment. While events may unfold, it is ultimately my choice whether I am the one to give up or keep going.

3. Forgiveness can be exhausting and challenging when feelings of resentment, anger, and sadness weigh you down. To move forward, you must release all negative emotions, a choice that is entirely your own. Realizing this, I began silently forgiving in my heart. While I am not done yet, I continue to forgive (it is a work in progress for me)

So, this is just a short summary of how I returned to writing. I believe there are a lot of people out there who have also faced challenging times (maybe more than what I've lived), but we see people, and we don't know how hard it has been for them. So I share my story to heal but also for you to know there is always a reason to keep going. Life is too short to live it stuck.